Guilt vs. regret

When we feel guilty, most often we equate ourselves with a behavior which we believe has made us a bad person.  Guilt differs from regret, which we feel when we realize we did something that has hurt someone or when wish we had done something differently.  The core difference between the two is that when we feel guilty, we identify with the behavior, whereas with regret, we identify the behavior without internalizing it.  Labeling the behavior as bad (regret) versus labeling ourselves as bad (guilt) helps us detach ourselves from the energy that is causing the guilt and allows us to choose how we wish to resolve it.  We may wish to make amends to whomever we have hurt, or we may choose to live mindfully in the future as to not repeat the unwanted behavior.  When guilt lets go in favor of regret, energy shifts from a negative space to a potentially positive space. 

Problem or opportunity?

When you are faced with a challenge, how do you frame it?  Do you frame it as a problem?  What would it be like for you to approach every challenge as an opportunity?  When we look at potential problems as opportunities, the energy is immediately shifted from something that is reacted to, to something that is acted upon.  In a matter of seconds, we come to realize out of every problem, we can find an opportunity to step up, be a better person, understand others with compassion, or think outside the box for a solution.  If we are having potential communication "problems" with our partner or boss, what would it look like if we saw this as an opportunity to learn better communication techniques, to advocate for ourselves, or to get a better understanding of what the other is trying to say? Try replacing the word "problem" with the word "opportunity" for a week and see how the energy shifts for you.

Don't take it personally

Often, we will interpret someone's interaction with us according to the stories we tell about ourselves.  If someone reacts negatively to us, we put meaning to their behavior based on our internal perceptions and past assumptions from our own lives.  We take it personally.  We invite their actions into our reality (to create yet another story) instead of creating space between and keeping their actions in their reality.  In truth, we are not responsible for anyone's actions but our own.  How someone responds to us may be the result of different factors.  They may be having a bad day, or just gotten a traffic ticket.  They may be preoccupied because their dog is sick.  They may be worried about their best friend.  Or they may just be unstable.  How we choose to respond is OUR reality.  By not taking things personally, we can respond with grace and compassion, and walk away knowing we didn't contribute to the perpetuation of negative energy. 

Listening to the body

Our bodies talk to us all the time.   They communicate to us through stress symptoms such as high blood pressure, heart palpitations or anxiety.  They wave flags of overdoing it through pulled muscles, catching a cold, or shutting down.  They even feel our emotions before we have a chance to verbalize them.  Yes, our bodies talk to us, but do we listen?  When we get sick, do we give our bodies the time to heal, not just in terms of the actual virus, but in terms of regaining balance?  When we feel anxiety or sadness, do we hold ourselves in a space of compassion and non-judgment?  Or do we criticize ourselves for being weak and judge ourselves harshly?  By being compassionate and non-judgmental with our bodies' responses to stressors, listening to what they have to say, and treating them with respect, we allow ourselves the space to heal.  And perhaps we gain the opportunity to be more mindful of what our bodies have to say the next time.  What is your body telling you today?

Sing

Sing from your heart.  Whether it's a favorite tune that comes on the radio in the car, or a live performance by a favorite artist, if you feel the urge to sing, do it!  Making music comes in all sorts of packages.  We can whistle, or hum, tap a diddy on our leg or play a kazoo.  The human need to make music and rhythm dates back through the millenia.  If you haven't taken the time to feel the beat, hum a tune or sing from the highest mountain lately, what's stopping you?  Give yourself the gift of music and enjoy.