A Cup of Coaching

A daily pick-me-up of coaching to get your energy flowing forward. 


A heart-based path

In the latter stages of life, we will often think about what we wished we had done.  Instead of working so hard, buying lots of things, and getting caught up in what society tells us we should do, there is always something in the backs of our minds that we regret not doing: a path not taken.  It might be something as simple as having a garden or as complex as an entirely different career.  Maybe we always wanted to learn to play the piano, or travel to Tibet.  Whatever we find ourselves coming back to again and again, this message is coming from our hearts, it is our heart-based path.  But there is something that gets in our way from following this path.  Whether it is external expectations of what society (or family or friends) tell us we should do, a little voice in our heads who tells us we are not smart/good enough or whether it's a fear of failure or the unknown, these blocks cannot overpower the messages from our hearts.  Our hearts guide us to our paths because we are meant to pursue these things that are meaningful to us.  Our short and precious lives are not meant to be wasted doing things that other people want us to do, or on things that society expects us to do.  If we look inside our hearts, we will find our meaningful heart-based path that will guide us to a most beautiful place: a place of authenticity, happiness, and fulfillment.  And that is a place we will never regret living.  What is your heart-based path?  What steps can you take today to begin to follow your path?


Thoughts > Feelings > Actions

If we wake up with negative thoughts in our heads, how do you think our day is going to go?  How do you think we are going to feel that day?  And if we feel bad, what do you think our actions will be?  Our thoughts are directly related to how we feel, and how we feel is directly related to what action we take.  If I think to myself, "I'm a lousy person," that thought of course is going to make me feel bad.  And by feeling bad, I am not inspired to do anything that might change my mind about being a lousy person.  So it's a negative cycle that keeps playing itself out in our minds.  The thought could be something as simple as "I don't have time to do that today!" which makes us feel anxious, which makes us unproductive and voila! we lose time and our thoughts manifest themselves into reality.  What if we thought, "I have plenty of time to do everything I want to do today"?  That thought may give us peace, which allows us to calmly prioritize and in turn, be productive and handle all that presents to us during the day.  Thoughts turn into feelings which affect actions.  It may seem like a simple concept, but it's one that can have great a consequence in our daily lives!  What is a thought that you can change right now that will make you feel better and result in positive action?


Down time

When we get sick or depleted, our bodies are telling us that we need down time.  Being sick with a cold or flu is never enjoyable, but it can be a time when we give up control, let it be, and allow ourselves to be taken care of by our loved ones.  We can curl up on the sofa and read or sleep, indulge in watching television or spending time on the computer, we can just be free to be.  Putting pressures on ourselves to get "better" or to go to work while sick can do more harm than good.  And allowing our physical pain to manifest itself into mental anguish or anger won't heal us any faster.  It will only make us more miserable as well as making those around us less likely to help and nurture us.  What can we do to feel better?  Plenty of rest, lots of water and clear fluids, vitamins, and home-brewed ginger tea can help the road to recovery.  Ginger has natural anti-bacterial qualities.  Here's a simple recipe for a restorative and yummy tea:

Ginger Tea

Ginger root, peeled and sliced.  Cinnamon sticks (found in the bulk section of your natural food store). Cloves, Honey and Lemon

Peel and slice the ginger root.  Put about 1/4-1/3 cup in a saucepan with a few of sticks of cinnamon and a small handful of cloves.  Add about 4 cups of water.  Bring to a boil, let simmer for 15 minutes.  Turn off heat and enjoy this brew all day with honey and lemon.  The longer it sits the stronger it will get, it can be diluted.  Refrigerate what is left, make a new batch every day.  



When difficulty arises moving beyond a certain point, whether it's emotional, physical, spiritual or anything else, we can assume that there is some kind of block preventing us from moving forward.  Generally, there are four types of blocks:  limiting beliefs, interpretations, assumptions, and our negative self talk, or, gremlins.  The clues to identifying what kind of block it is comes in the language that we use.  If we hear ourselves saying something like, "Well, I didn't get that job, I won't get this one either," this is an assumption based on the past.  If we say, "People my age can't get jobs," that's a limiting belief that we have about ourselves.  If we say, "I didn't get that job because I am over 50," that's an interpretation based on our reality.  If we hear ourselves saying, "I'm not good enough for that job," that is a gremlin that we need to purge from our psyche.  Each kind of block can be addressed and worked through, some quite easily.  Others are more difficult to break down.  Regardless, all blocks can be worked through and dismantled. 



Sometimes the internal motivational tools we've come to rely upon just don't seem to work.  As much as we say we want to do something, tie it to our values, or link it to an emotional hook, we will just languish in the "not doing" of the goal, thus dragging down our energy and motivation even farther.  The negative thought streams kick in, we criticize ourselves for not doing what we said we were going to do, and the thing never gets done.  Sometimes all it might take is tying the accomplishment to good old-fashioned reward.  Want that brand new iPhone 4?  A summer toy?  What about some new clothes?  Putting the purchase of a highly-desired object on hold until you accomplish your original goal may in fact give you that extra push of motivation to put the pedal to the metal and "git 'er done!"  Remember when we were kids and our parents told us, "No (blank) until you mow the yard or pick up your room?"  It worked, didn't it?  Sometimes as adults we forget that holding out the carrot in front of us actually works, especially if we are the ones to cut a deal with ourselves.  Because we have charted our own course, when we finish that long elusive goal, we will feel an even bigger sense of accomplishment and our reward will be all the more sweet to taste.