A Cup of Coaching

A daily pick-me-up of coaching to get your energy flowing forward. 



Most of us go through our lives knowing what each day is going to look like before it happens, and never veering from the road map of where we want to go and how we are going to get there.  Weekdays are for work, weekends are for chores and play time if we can fit it in.  We're never really in the moment and just letting ourselves be, we are always planning ahead, thinking about the future.  We even "plan" the fun things in our lives, going to the lake or the movies, vacations, time off.  What would happen if we tossed that road map out the window and let the present dictate our path?  This is the art of living spontaneously.  Sure, there will be times when we spontaneously decide that we need to mow the lawn, but for the most part, spontaneity is all about honoring what is important to us right at this moment and not concerning ourselves with what society or other people may expect from us.  When we can do this without harming ourselves or others, spontaneity can be a great way to work some balance into our otherwise structured and humdrum lives.  Can we plan spontaneity?  No, but we can set an intention to allow ourselves to explore our spontaneous thoughts rather than squashing them because we think we "have to" do something else.



Strength presents itself through us in many different ways.  We can show our strength in physical ways, for instance by running long distances, lifting heavy weights, or swimming across a lake.  We can show our strength mentally by winning a chess game or getting a doctoral degree.  We can show our strength emotionally by advocating for ourselves, being calm through a crisis, or comforting those in need.  And, we can be strong spiritually, by having faith, wishing for all beings to be happy and through love.  Someone who possess all of these strengths outwardly may appear to be a hero, yet heroes walk amongst us all the time.  You are a hero.  I am a hero.  Because all of us, whether we realize it or not, possess all of these strengths.  There may be times in our lives when one overshadows another, but all our strengths lie within us.  Sometimes in an instant one or more will appear when they are needed, and we surprise ourselves by our fortitude.  In these moments, we see our inner hero, and we know that it is always there to assist us when we are ready. 



When we talk about "enough", what do we really mean?  Do we mean it's all we require?  That once we hit a magic number we will be content?  Or could it mean enough is all there is, there can never be more, or less?  As imprecise a concept as "enough" may seem, it is precisely this: it is exactly what we have.  Although we may always be striving for something higher, right now, we have what we have.  What is before us is what we have right now, and so by nature, is enough.  What about internally?  Is what or who we are enough?  Similarly, we are who we are right now, and so, consequently we are also enough.  We can always set higher goals and be actively pursuing them, which does not change who we are at this very moment.  We can neither be more nor less than who we are right now.  We can take comfort in knowing that when society burdens us with expectations and pressure, or when self-talk weighs us down with self-doubt, we can look ourselves squarely in the eye and say, "Right now, at this moment, I am enough." 


Facing the unknown

We all come to a point in our lives when we face an big unknown.  Perhaps we are waiting for the results of a medical test, or are laid off from our jobs.  At times like these, we have the ability to choose our own path.  We can choose a path of worry, which takes us out of the present moment and has us constructing stories about what may happen in the future.  We can choose a path of concern, which is based in fact but still takes us out of the present moment.  Or we can choose to stay present, go with the flow, accept the outcome, and move forward to growth.  Even when the unknown seems overwhelming or unbearable, staying in the present allows us to value what is important to us, concentrate on whatever is happening right now, and to give it our fullest attention.  Then, when that unknown finally becomes known, we can proceed forward in the moment with what needs to be done, without expectations, assumptions or judgment. 


Exploring options

Everything we do in life is a choice.  So when presented with options, how do we know which is the best one for us to choose?  We can ask ourselves the following questions:  What are the benefits of choosing this option?  What are the limitations of choosing this option?  What are the benefits of NOT choosing this option?  What are the limitations of NOT choosing this option?  What values are represented by this option?  What values are not represented by this option?  These six questions are key in determining what motivations may lie behind choosing certain options, and how that choice may affect our relationship with ourselves and those around us.  For example, if we make a choice based on what someone else expects of us, even though it goes against our value system, we may end up resenting that person, resenting the choice, and resenting ourselves for making that choice.  Guilt, regret, shame and negative self talk can all be the result of a simple choice.  So why not make that choice with our values in place, while honoring what will be beneficial to ourselves, others and the Universe?  If there are no options that represent these things, then there is still an obvious choice to make: None of the above!